March 23, 2011.
This date has got permanently etched in my mind. On this ill-fated day I lost a classmate of mine from school.
Six years have passed by, yet I still remember that SMS I’d got from my friend, “Ruchita passed away… Got hit by a school bus…” Never have I felt as numb, as shocked, as horrified as I felt then. The very thought that a girl the same age as me was suddenly no longer among us was deeply disturbing.
Ruchita was an intelligent, enthusiastic, lovable person; the sort of person everyone wishes they could be. She must have had so many dreams, so many goals that she must have looked forward to achieving! There must have been so many experiences she must have wanted to have! Kismet, however, had other ideas…
This was the first time I realized how helpless we are before Destiny. I realized that life really is short. There’s just no knowing which day might be your last one. It was a scary thought, one that brought goose bumps.
Gradually, however, I have started looking at this in a different light. If life is short, shouldn’t one try to live it to the fullest? If each moment is so precious, shouldn’t we make the most of it? Shouldn’t we allow the Present to envelope us with its beauty, its tranquility, rather than losing ourselves in the dark mires of the Past or the hazy mists of the Future?
I realize that there is so much to be grateful to God for! By His grace I have a home to live in, food to eat, and clothes to wear; basic amenities that quite a lot of people either never get or get extremely less of. By God’s grace I have parents who are the wind beneath my wings, always encouraging me to soar to higher altitudes! I have had excellent teachers who moulded me into the person I am today. I have friends I can rely on, who add colour to my life! I have a boss who recognizes my talents and brings out the best in me. I have colleagues who make work so much fun!
What else could a young woman want?
Yet there are days when I find myself bogged down by hurt and pain. I find myself over-thinking; reliving my failed attempts at reaching certain goals, replaying unconstructive criticism I got, trying to find reasons behind unfair treatment received… There are days when I feel heartbroken, taken advantage of, and let down. And I spend way too much time carrying the burden of all this sadness on my shoulders. I allow these burdens to become shackles that keep me bound to misery.
But not anymore.
Today I’m making the choice to let go. I’m letting go of bad memories. I’m letting go of silly daydreams that I always knew would never come true. I’ve decided to forgive myself for failing to meet expectations at times, mine as well as others’. I’ve decided to forgive the people who hurt me – knowingly or unknowingly.
I’ve decided to enjoy the Now, for this moment is what really matters! I’ve decided to walk in through doors that have now opened, rather than gazing longingly at the ones that were slammed in my face. I’ve decided to free up space in my heart for all the lovely experiences to come!
I’ve decided to seize the day – today and every day that follows!