Wishing all my readers a Happy and Prosperous 2016!
As per yearly tradition, I sit down to make Resolutions (yeah, with a capital R) for the New Year. I ruminate over the past year. What worked out? What needs to change? Events and thoughts swirl through my mind. This realization makes me think of Dumbledore’s Pensieve.
The similarity is accentuated further when a fact surfaces through the misty depths. My blog has been gathering dust for the past four months. This is the longest I’ve gone without writing. *gasp*
Life happens. Some things have to take a backseat. But shelving my blog was a Big Mistake, I now feel. I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed churning out my thoughts onto paper. No wonder I was experiencing withdrawal symptoms. 😛
I make haste. I grab a notebook and pen from my bag. I turn a fresh page.
Ten minutes pass, then twenty, then thirty. An hour goes by. The page is filled with scrawls and scribbles, most of them scratched out. Words and phrases bounce around in my head. Vague themes try to take shape. I try to brainstorm ideas. No good. As a last ditch effort I browse through the notebook for inspiration.
It’s my notebook from University. It would be more appropriate to call it a scrapbook though! It has assorted contents, some of which spill out onto my lap.
The pages at the front have notes from lectures. Some are meticulous, others haphazard. There are a few rather loopy scribbles; the direct outcome of feeling sleepy in morning lectures! A few pages have dog-ears. Highlighted words, asterisks, stars, bullets and numbering, underlined words, remarks in the margins – everything according to a system that only I can understand! I read an odd word or two here and there. Every now and then I find myself smiling as memories of those lectures resurface. I also remember frantically turning these very pages fifteen minutes before the exam. I remember sighing and thinking that I am bound to forget some key concept. I knew I worried unnecessarily, but never did get over the habit!
Interspersed among the notes is rough work done while working on assignments. Scribbles, scrawls, doodles, references noted down to check later. I can hardly read my own handwriting in places, let alone make sense of the contents! Algorithms and flowcharts are spread across pages. My friends’ and professors’ handwritings crop up every now and then, illustrated explanations and discussions filling the lines. I remember hours of backbreaking work. I remember times when I burned the midnight oil. Those moments when I stared at the screen in frustration when programs refused to work. The sudden brainwaves. The relief on finding solutions. Oh! Becoming a programmer isn’t easy alright!
The last pages need to be read backwards. There are random pieces of information. I find schedules, addresses, phone numbers, and email addresses; just about anything that had to be noted down hastily. There are rough drafts of my posts and important emails. There are lists of items we’d required for various events. There are TO-DO lists – some with huge (proud) ticks against a few items. There are arithmetic calculations in the margins. There are squiggles and wiggles, and my name written in various shades of ink – ball pens being tested or brought into reuse. Here are relics of the lighter aspects of academic life! The flurry of activity during events, the enjoyment, those breaks from monotony; everything envelopes me in its warm glow. The sense of importance felt on fulfilling additional responsibilities still fills my heart with contentment!
There are fees receipts in between the pages. Leaflets and pamphlets fall out. There are one or two canteen coupons as well! There are chits that were passed during lectures, crumpled up hastily and slid into the cover. Torn out pages containing all sorts of trivia, folded into halves and quarters, nestle in between other pages. Memories of laughter, chats, discussions, gossips, teasing and fighting with friends flash past. Some are in touch, others have distanced out. That is to be expected, after all. Everyone has to go their own way eventually.
My entire life of the past year or two is right here in my hands! So many changes took place, both good and bad; all recorded here in one form or another. Here I see all the challenges faced, successes and triumphant emotions, failures and disappointments. Life certainly has taken me on a rollercoaster ride! But then it always does, for all of us, doesn’t it?!
So now I’ve killed two birds in one stone. I’ve written a new post and I’ve made a Resolution. I’m going to live my life, truly LIVE it. I’m going to explore as many aspects of this world as I can. I’m going to make many vivid memories. After all, there are many more notebooks to be filled… 🙂