I read two posts today about the elusive emotion that nearly all of us yearn for: LOVE! One has been written by my Blogging101 neighbour !shita, titled Good old days. The other one was shared by a friend of mine on Facebook. It’s by Chelsea Fagan, titled When They Move On Before You Do.
Ishita talks about love as being something that flits in and out of our lives, and which should not be given more importance than it requires. Chelsea, on the other hand, explains that sometimes it isn’t that easy to let go…
Ishita talks about love being “… a fleeting emotion. It can be seen, it can be felt. It can be dreamt about with a silly grin on your face.” All true, if it’s a crush or an infatuation. It lasts for a few days or a few weeks and then you experience an epiphany. Paraphrasing Ishita, the rose-tinted glasses fall off your eyes and you’re left all alone to pick up the pieces and rebuild your life. Tough, yes. Painful, certainly. A lesson for life, most definitely.
Ishita goes on to say that everyone’s emotional range differs. I couldn’t agree more! Each person also has a different way of reacting, responding and dealing with matters of the heart. Some have a logical approach, some are more emotional. Some make a snap decision, others mull over it for days on end. Indeed, some find it easier to brush the dust off their old selves and to move on. It’s the sensible thing to do after all, to let the dead past bury its dead. But some people can’t, or don’t want to…
Sometimes you meet someone who encompasses your world. You’re filled with a strong emotion that you’ve never felt before. This is the person who’s in your thoughts – sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. This is the person you open up to on a much higher level. You reveal your deepest secrets to this person. You show this person parts of your core personality that have hitherto been hidden away from the world. This is the first person with whom you share your joy as well as your sorrow. This is the person whose happiness and success matters to you as much (or even more) than your own. You just seem to click with this person!
And then it turns out that your love is unrequited. You’re “just a friend” to them. Or they do love you, but not in the way you love them. You’re not on the same page as them. They are your priority but you’re just an option to them. The dreams you’d gradually allowed yourself to dream, the expectations you’d slowly allowed yourself to keep from them are all shattered after that one painful conversation.
It’s hard to deal with a breakup like this. Chelsea accurately describes the emotions felt during this phase. You don’t want to accept the fact that the relationship really is over. You keep trying to convince yourself that it’s just a matter of time before they see the error of their ways and run straight into your arms. But they don’t. Instead they find someone else. As Chelsea says, “The truth is, they don’t owe you anything. You are no longer together, and they no longer want you. […] And every overture you make to get them to apologize for a wrong they didn’t actually commit only proves that you are the one who has lost.”
You’re left with the choice to either go mad with grief or pull yourself together with a superhuman effort. You proceed to lock away those fond memories into some dark chamber of your heart, planning to throw away the key. But deep down you know that it’s difficult “… to forget a number you’ve known by heart for so long.”
L’amour est imparfait – Love is imperfect…
What is YOUR opinion on love? Do let me know in the comments below!