Unrequited love… Being denied access to the heart you wish to link your own one to… It hurts, doesn’t it? Oh it hurts terribly! There are sleepless nights, countless tears, and endless letters written and torn up. You type out an email, maybe two, maybe more, but what’s the point in sending them? No matter how much you try, the bitter truth doesn’t change. The relationship doesn’t take off.
You can read the signs. You can sense the gap between you and the one you’d like to have as your significant other. Yet you feel there’s something, something that might work. You come up with oh-so-many reasons to explain away the lack of interest on their part.
However, you can’t help but wonder:
Matters are complicated further if the object of your affection likes you, thinks of you as a good friend, maybe even a trusted confidante but isn’t in love with you. You yearn for them, daydream of being with them, maybe throw subtle hints about your feelings for them (which are either not detected or studiously ignored). You try hard, very hard, too hard.
And then comes the day when you’re dealt the final blow.
“I cannot connect with you. It’s over. It’s a full-stop on my side.”
“What did I do wrong? Why didn’t it work out?”
Simple! It wasn’t meant to be. You knew it but you didn’t want to believe it. But now you’ve got to face it.
There’s this scene in my favourite movie Dil Chahta Hai.
The guy is best friends with the girl’s love interest. He asks her why she loves his friend so much despite being aware of the fact that the friend doesn’t love her back. She says she doesn’t know, but still she loves the friend a lot. He reasons with her, tells her that she’s beautiful, intelligent, one of a kind… She retorts that if she’s so amazing, she fails to understand why his friend doesn’t want her. He tells her that he has no answer but he is certain of the fact that if ever she is in need of help, his friend would give it. However, it’s better not to keep expectations regarding something [the friend falling for her] that you know is never going to happen. He explains that some relationships are like sand. It escapes faster through your fingers when you try harder to grasp it.
There’s a concept in computing called “freeing up memory space”. Once you’ve finished working with some temporary data, it’s removed from memory so as to effectively utilise available memory space to store data required for the next instruction or process.
This concept can be applied to life too! Just clear the cache of your heart. Remove those bad memories, lost hope, unhappy thoughts, inhibitions, insecurities brought on due to that one person not wanting to have a relationship with you. Delete the phone number, throw away or get rid of things that remind you of them. You no longer need all that junk!
Start afresh! Get your life back!
Are there hobbies you stopped pursuing? Are there activities you lost interest in because he/she didn’t like them? Are there friends who you’ve been out of touch with?
Get back to being who you truly are! You are you! That’s what makes you the lovable, wonderful, unique person you are! If you weren’t a wonderful person why would your loved ones care about you so much? Why would they ask you to forget everything that happened, tell you that you deserve better and that one day you will find the love you really want?! Why would they be there for you and help you move on?
Just free up some heart space! One day you’ll realize why this temporary data ever entered your system, when permanent links are made with your heart…!
Smile and move on… 🙂